A Brand New Cookie

Life has been weird lately to be frank. Didn't do to great in exams since I might flunk 1 subject, develop a new hobby or perhaps a revived old hobby of mine which is self-reading on unnecessary data into my brain such as brain anatomy and the mechanics of fluid engineering. Haih. Don't tell me its weird, i already am aware. Guess I develop how to entertain my boring life. Things with Arabella Lilianna has been going well, "i think". Hahaha... But seeing her sick is making me worry tho, even though I know she is a tough cookie who pretty much can take care of herself. New year however, i ain't got no plans for that. Not really much of a fan of celebrating that since it is just another stroke of midnite if you ask me. For my bro, eventho da percentage of him goin online and miraculously found this blog is practically zero, I wish him all da best for his study in Penang. Btw, one of the bad news currently taking event as I type this letters is that my father has a facebook account. Fully aware of his ability to adapt and learn in a fast manner such as myself(self-proclaimed ofcourse), is deeply worrying me a little. Dats all for now folks.

Cookie Shortage

I really dont like it when ur talkin bout sumthin quite serious to sumwan and suddenly, BANG!!!! out of credit and no keys to the car to go out and top up... haih... just a short one.

Cookie Factory is Closed for Maintainance

Here is the thing. For this week, im a little hectic with all this meetings, assignments, homework and etc etc... Its quite tiring for me but i'l live...I'm not saying I dont want to focus on Arabella Lilianna. However by putting down everything and focus on her is something i couldnt do. Maybe 5 to 10 mins, i still could do so. Im just buzy with other important stuffs with exams coming around the corner. That is all.

Caramel and Nuts. They taste ever so better each bite with chocolate...

Sure... There aint nobody here can fully trust another person. People are selfish that way or having secrets... I can live with that. I dont even trust my own father. I love da dude, doesnt mean he knows everything bout me. But, he knows the essentials things. That includes anyone. To me, i have secrets, but when willing, i'l share it with the people i trust. If they use it agaisnt me, that is the end of that. But that is just me. I understand her not fully trust me at all. Heck, she just doesnt trust GUYS in general. Go ahead. Thats your point of view. But, not being able to trust me having a conversation with a friend for ten minutes is simply absurd. Atleast, when i was swimming for a range of 3 hours, and that was true by the way, i understand u have every reason to doubt my actions. But over the telephone call over 10 minutes??? Cant I??? Like I said, if she cant even trust me that much over this whole time, and I couldnt do the same towards her anymore. Not a good fortune cookie post for this week eh? Haih.

Chocolate Meltdown

Ladies and gentleman... am having a total meltdown over tomorrows contract paper... I cant say im well prepared eventho i took a lot of time studying and restudyin it... Haih... What can i do??? HELP ME!!!!!!!!! dats all for now... lookin forward for semester holidays later aite... huhu

fortune cookies....

here i am again... been buzy lately... puasa over now... raya is in session but i'm excluding myself from dis event... why u may ask??? cause i got finals coming... dats rite folks, freaking finals!!!!! argh!!!! im barely prepared here, wateva i did studied goes in and out of my brain... waduh2... owh, add this other problem as well... Me SICK!!! i hate sick... im bloated, i burp, i do stuffs where i dont usually do... trust me, explaining dis things mite make u sick as well... if only there werent any finals... i would do what i do best... enjoy my BEAUTY SLEEP!!!! hahaha...

Other than these, life is okay for me... not so good and not so bad... which is rare for me ofcourse... usually is bad gone worst... hehehe... i do miss my relatives here and there... most of them aint here in this world anymore... they brighten up my life with the perfect fusion of WISDOM and SARCASM... hahaha... guess its genetics in my blood... Born as a genius with a sharp tongue to lazer anyone down... muahahaha... dats all for now... wish me luck 4 exam...

cak!!!!

Caramel Cookie "Carma"

here we go... the revenge of the great KARMA!!! Argh!!! dont like karma... for every evil plan i create, i get karma after a successful domination... give me a break le... nw im super sick, my phone share the same fate as well... so sad... sob sob... need choki choki!!!!!!!!!! teehee.

Cookie Beyond Comparison

I'd rather be a woman than a man. Woman can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off a sinking ship...

Fate of The Fallen Cookie

stupid love songs... keep on singing where ever i go... annoyance as much as my results... failure failure... screw everything...

Cookie to Choki!!!

Yes ladies and gentleman, im in love with CHOKI CHOKI!!!!!

my 1st COOKIE in JonKer

A day with contract law.

End with a joy at Jonker Walk.

Im up early, and again, I didnt able to sleep. AGAIN!! Dont know why also. AGAIN!!!!! Owhwell. Im super scared about contract law. Others i dont really reli care at much. Perhaps because, da contract lecturer is SOOO monotone. But she is nice tho. Thats why i dont get what in da world she was blabering about. And she gave us a prior warning.

I'M EXPECTING 50 PERCENT OF YOU TO FAIL!!!!

Thats why im scared of it. Thats why i went on studyin early. I dont get freak out dat often but hey, there is always a 1st time. Then i was joined by my classmates. Then somehow it turned to quite a fun group study. It seems that we all were insecure about it. Thats good then. Im not the only one. So we all were studyin in a funny mode. Involving intellectual discussions and random jokes as well. Then went to lunch. We had this problem. We cant decide where to eat even when we are really really hungry!!

Then we go on back to studyin after eatin at McD. Been craving for McD for some time already. Muahaha. Owh well. No doubt was thinkin of Arabella Lilianna the whole time. Then we all continue studyin again after came back. Accompanied with Choki Choki. My primary school's all time fav junkies. Love love Chocolate.

After some time, we all decided to get an early dinner. Perhaps we are just to tired from fillin our brain with contract principals. And then, some random idea occured among us to go to Jonker Walk. Im quite interested to go as im as equally interested with the weird name. Hehehe. So i decided to join them.

There we go, on our way to Jonker using a car. And there we go, we were lost. TWICE!! haha. Thats because we were distracting the driver a lot of times. NOT MY FAULT!!! Okay okay. Partially my fault. Haha. We arrive at Jonker nw. I love da place. Filled with people and colourful wonders of Melaka Heritage. And and, im a sucker when it comes to weird and unique trinkets. Like puzzle box, fake insects. Even a real life lookin bread that even smells like one. Such mouth watering plaything. Hahaha. Sounds wrong tho.

We all went to this shop where everything is about necklace, bracelets, and all like beach style dudes! Interested as i was, im about to buy as well. All of us decided to buy it also. Like a friendship bracelets. It was AWESOME. I love it. So here i am, writing on da next day, stroking the keyboard with my new bracelet. Hehehe.

There u go, my 1st Cookie In JonKer!!

hurt

back to da usual nw. things been great. then things went bad wit da circle of life. Then, dis text show up out of nowhere. puts me in shock and all. dont know how to react to dis.

"Go ahead la to girls. I hv no feelings towards ur actions with others da"

by all means, i kinda lied when i say i feel hurt a bit to her when she said dat. it actually hurt a LOT!. no matter wat, its da truth from her side. not blaming her pun. but it gives me a few other thoughts. a really negative wan indeed. hope wat im thinkin dont turn out to be smthg real. dat certainly would suck. but if its meant to be, i just got to accept it, no matter how painful it is.

haih.

wrote it, read it, blog it... such stupidity in short

dont ask, dont know, dont care. unsure what did i do for the past few days, but it doesnt matter. lifeless to the bone. some weird freak i am.....


congrats ali... u manage to create hell within ureself in just 1 nite. fucking awesome

(empty)

(EMPTY)

Am I? Really?

today is my last nite here in this wretched place. Tmr morning, i shall move towards an even fuurther wretched place. However, today is an interesting day. I did dis planting mangrove seedling today wit my co workers. uite a sudden wake up call i mite add. play wit mud a lil. met sum new people. know new things bout those im aquainted beforehand. Much interesting. But alas, for every beginning, there is an ending. And for me, its an bitter ending indeed compare to the wonderful beginning.

Today, even my body is battered and depleted of stamia, its my last day at work. Before work, i took the time to enjoy watchin tv. Distracted by it, i wasnt aware of my phone being left in da room. Yes. Its truthfully my fault. And somehow along da way, we fought. Oblivious as i am, i do not know da reason to it. It goes on and on. I try to stay calm and fought hard to understand her better why she is being like dis. Why does she just hm. Its annoying. Terribly annoying. I just put up wit it. And then poof. No more replies.. Sadness lingers even when i try to pursue her to reply my texts. All hopes abandon. Honestly, its da very time i need her da most. If i were not trying to calm my selfishness, i would have her forced to see me dat very moment.

I just cant believe she just left like dat. Perhaps its my fault after all. But to leave me in time of need is just plain cruel. Cant believe dat at this moment of typing this very words, teardrops are running thru my cheeks. Regardless, i manage to pull myself together 1 last time and text her again. She wipe me off saying she wanted to sleep. It felt like a bullet when thru and im not overeactin. Its just dat, im leaving tmr but there are no one to forbid me farewell. How lonely i have to be in dis world? True dat i always mentally prepared dat to die, u are alone no matter what. But does that mean im living alone as well?

Its also true dat a large part of my life, im always felt alone. Cruel as u say, i learned to adapt. Then she came to my life, brings me all sorts of joy, sadness, and new experience to my life. I forgotten to be lonely. Guess dats why i felt da big impact of it. Nah, who am i kidding. She got other stuffs on her mind. Im just a boyfriend as she said. And dats true. Maybe im just very very selfish to ask dat much? Owh well, time to put dat idiotic smile and try to look happy for my parents. dats all i guess. Other than dat, i just had a simple bye from my co workers. As usual of course. Why else i always say im lonely at work. other than dat, i know its my fault to blame for wanting too much. end.

cravings..

i miss her... even when we are in an open relationship rite nw...

cookie snacks!

good news, i really like david garrett songs currently. all clasical and orchestra thingin.. kinda addicted to it 4 nw. i did enjoy around 49 episodes of "scenes from the hat game" in Whose Line Is It Anyway in youtube. haha. hilarious stuff i mite add.

problems sleeping again? not really. its a problem dat can be solve when i want to, soo its not a problem i guess??? manage to do sit ups till 50 cause da fatness of my tummy is gettin out of shape?? Argh!!!! least im not fat..

yes Arabella Lilianna. im NOT FAT!!!!! hahaha... she thinks im fat?? me? fat? no way yo. not goin to happen and never happen b4.

but its kinda strange that its gettin bigger even when i eat less.. (fyi, eating less in dis context means da ammount of food im eating is lessen, not the ammount i ate in a day). owh well, just need to stay in shape je.

i guess dats all 4 nw. chears to all...

the cookie jar is missing???

i cant believe it myself. i am currently feelin under preasure with da things around me. actually, to be honest, im not sure why im feelin presured in da 1st place. list of probable reason is too long to list out anyway. it just seems all confusing, mind boggling, simply terrifying.

haih. my rough probability of reasons why this is happening is down to 2 theory. 1, im worrying bout all da things thats goin to change drastically in da near future including Arabella Lilianna, and so on. 2, mite be da possibility of the sudden fast pace of rush to further my studies.

I have to be honest, large part of me is emotionally unstable, filled with unnecessary anger, and da smaller part is probably hurting myself aka death.. Gee.. wat bad drama script. ;p

for now i still turn to god and keepin my daily pray without miss and hopefully Arabella Lilianna could help me out a bit... but dat would be selfish since she has her own probs. i think??

second thoughts..?

why bother...

one BAD cookie.?

literally, no one would understand. Symbolically however, 1 person might. Even when its so late, it literally is so early.

no cookies today. da KITCHEN is closed...

guess its just not my day today. maybe i expect things too much? or maybe its my fault? haih. i have a bad feelin bout wats goin to happen in da near future.

secret recipe for today is???

i havent showered since 1am of 2nd June 2009. Muahahaha!!!

peanut butter cookie?

i manage to run even faster today. dat was 1.8 seconds faster compared to last week. its good, but not as fast as i was last time. haha. i was quite fast in high school. reason i was running cause i had a good long sleep. got lots of time. get to clear and plan several things in my head. dat will be certainly amusing when da plan is executed to him. others were normal i guess. why i else im blogging nw rite? dats because Arabella Lilianna is being buzy. Again. haih. well, not her fault pun. she is bz bz. sumtimes even too bz for herself. evenmore 4 me. well, just got to accept dat fact. other than dat, she still stubborn and refuse to tell a thing bout wats she's doin. incredibly annoying. always ntah. haih. i mite be able to force, but i dont want that. prefer she tells a bit bit by her own. but, i cant help it dat im having dis feelin where she's gettin away from me despite da fact we r closer together nowadays. ntah lar. overthinkin is both my talent and my weakness. i mite go crazy wit dis. or perhaps im already crazy to begin with? hahaha.. dats because i am CRAZY!!! hahaha.

crappy feeling...

Well, it has been a weird and kinda crappy week for me. The upside is i did get to see Arabella Lilianna. That was fun. Felt broke to the max, but it was worth it.
Other than that, did met my friends and chill da whole day with them. Other than that, i just feel like im losing myself.

Man i'm weird.

Nway, i hate dis kinda feelin. Makes me dizzy for persistance thinkin over imaginary issues. Besides that, cant wait to stop working. Dat should take da weights of from my misery. And now, im hungry, a bit blur on the side and i want a very long hug hug hug.

I need my Drugs!!

My 1st entry is about my drugs. Im in need of my drugs rite nw!!! Its a specific drugs i need and its soo rare, u cant get it from anywan else. I cant get from my personal dealer who shoul be da first one to know bout dis blog. Ofcourse, it because of Arabella Lilianna herself, im writing dis rite nw. So, where is my dosage?? I need it NOW!!!! Hehehe...

p/s - cool name dont you think? i like it. :p