today is my last nite here in this wretched place. Tmr morning, i shall move towards an even fuurther wretched place. However, today is an interesting day. I did dis planting mangrove seedling today wit my co workers. uite a sudden wake up call i mite add. play wit mud a lil. met sum new people. know new things bout those im aquainted beforehand. Much interesting. But alas, for every beginning, there is an ending. And for me, its an bitter ending indeed compare to the wonderful beginning.
Today, even my body is battered and depleted of stamia, its my last day at work. Before work, i took the time to enjoy watchin tv. Distracted by it, i wasnt aware of my phone being left in da room. Yes. Its truthfully my fault. And somehow along da way, we fought. Oblivious as i am, i do not know da reason to it. It goes on and on. I try to stay calm and fought hard to understand her better why she is being like dis. Why does she just hm. Its annoying. Terribly annoying. I just put up wit it. And then poof. No more replies.. Sadness lingers even when i try to pursue her to reply my texts. All hopes abandon. Honestly, its da very time i need her da most. If i were not trying to calm my selfishness, i would have her forced to see me dat very moment.
I just cant believe she just left like dat. Perhaps its my fault after all. But to leave me in time of need is just plain cruel. Cant believe dat at this moment of typing this very words, teardrops are running thru my cheeks. Regardless, i manage to pull myself together 1 last time and text her again. She wipe me off saying she wanted to sleep. It felt like a bullet when thru and im not overeactin. Its just dat, im leaving tmr but there are no one to forbid me farewell. How lonely i have to be in dis world? True dat i always mentally prepared dat to die, u are alone no matter what. But does that mean im living alone as well?
Its also true dat a large part of my life, im always felt alone. Cruel as u say, i learned to adapt. Then she came to my life, brings me all sorts of joy, sadness, and new experience to my life. I forgotten to be lonely. Guess dats why i felt da big impact of it. Nah, who am i kidding. She got other stuffs on her mind. Im just a boyfriend as she said. And dats true. Maybe im just very very selfish to ask dat much? Owh well, time to put dat idiotic smile and try to look happy for my parents. dats all i guess. Other than dat, i just had a simple bye from my co workers. As usual of course. Why else i always say im lonely at work. other than dat, i know its my fault to blame for wanting too much. end.
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